How bank’s security questions left one user angry and helpless
When did validating an account get so complicated, wonders journalist, as he realises refusal to provide personal information can lead to his HSBC account being restricted
“Hello, Chris Wood speaking. HSBC? Five minutes? Yes, sure, go ahead Jason.”
“Security questions? Right, go on then …”
“Just a few more questions to validate my account? Look how long will this take? I’m a busy man – I have deadlines, you know. [Sigh] OK, let’s get on with it then.”
“Hang on a minute, you want to know what? My employer, my occupation, my job title, is it a full-time position, what date did I join the company? That’s all private information I’m afraid and I don’t feel comfortable giving it out. Goodbye … er, hang on a minute, what do you need this information for … and what happens if I don’t provide it?”
“Mandated by the Hong Kong Monetary Authority. I see. All customers’ accounts subject to validation. Aha. My account will be restricted if I don’t help you to validate it. Right. So, what exactly do these restrictions entail?”
“YOU WHAT! THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS! RESTRICTIONS ON WITHDRAWALS AND DEPOSITS – THAT’S DOWNRIGHT BLACKMAIL! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN BANKING WITH HSBC?”
“And where did you say you are calling from again, Jason?”
“An HSBC call centre. In Manila. In the Philippines. I see.”
“Right now, Jason, I should warn you that I will be recording the rest of this call.”
“What do you mean, you wouldn’t advise that? What? … you’re already recording this conversation but if I do the same, you will have to terminate the call … for my protection … to stop me from leaking information I might give to you during the course of the call … and if I don’t complete validation then restrictions will be applied to my account. That’s the most preposterous thing I have ever heard.”
[Under my breath] “Right, I’m taking notes then.”
“Erm, nothing Jason. Go ahead, let’s get this over with. What else do you need to know?”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS!”
“Yes, February 12. Yes, HK$67,000. Let me think … that was a payment to Johnny English. You want to know what it was for? Money I owed him for a car I bought last year – if that’s any of your business.”
“Our relationship? Are you joking? … Yes, I understand. In fact, he’s godfather to my eldest son.”
“Well yes, I do mind answering a few more similar questions, but you’re going to ask them anyway, so fire away …”
[Five minutes later] “OK Jason, goodbye to you, too. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure.”
In due course, a letter from HSBC arrives. It reads, in part:
“We appreciate that you have taken time to provide us with your up-to-date information. We need to work with you to keep criminals out of the financial system. […] Thank you for the part you are playing in helping us to achieve this.”
It would have been nice not to have been made to feel like a criminal in the process. (Now, where did I put the details of that alternative bank.)
